I never used to care so much about having my picture taken, that is, until I started feeling like I was out of shape (since I've stopped acting/dancing) and especially since I've noticed an older version of me in the mirror. Looking at a picture of me and my wife triggered a chain reaction of thoughts: how photography tells stories, how it brings people together, the holidays, family and relationships, how people don't always love having their picture taken, how bad pictures happen, ugly sweaters, blah blah blah... The thoughts just came flooding in, and I thought "hey, don't be selfish! Share your thoughts! Share your experiences! That's what blogging is for!" So I thought, as an experienced photographer and as someone that cares about YOUR relationships, I'd offer some advice that bridges photography and relationships. I call it, Relationship Photography.
Let's face it: we want to make our significant other feel good, feel joyful, feel loved, feel attractive. Posting a bad picture can get you in trouble. Taking a picture that may be funny can be amusing. Posting it on social media: not funny (usually). I have learned that it's important to have a discerning eye when it comes to taking and posting pictures of your spouse (girlfriend, fiancee, etc...). My wife and I have learned life flows better when we show each other what we would like to post before posting. On Thanksgiving day, Jenny and I both took pictures: of each other and of us with the boys, etc. We both posted a picture on Facebook. Then we both adamantly requested the other remove the picture from Facebook. See...we avoided getting divorced just by honoring the others request to remove the picture. I admit it, I recently care about how I'm represented online. I'm not vain...I JUST LOOK HORRIBLE!!!
(deep slow breaths)
So, I thought that I might share some pointers on when NOT to take pictures and how to go about it if you avoid these rules. They say "rules are meant to be broken"... well, you also need to know the rules and sometimes know how to ask to break the rules from the proper authority. I'm just doing this for you. I care about you. I care about your relationship, so please, read the instruction manual!
Rule #1- No bedroom pictures.
Doesn't she look beautiful when she's sleeping? She seems so peaceful. Is she dreaming about us on the beach? Holding hands? Frolicking through the tall grass? Guess what buddy, she finds out you've posted a picture of her snoring away and you're just asking for a knuckle sandwich with your coffee! Trust me...she will not think it's cute.
Rule #2- Give the star First Refusal.
Being a start means your publicists will demand First Refusal before anything from a session is printed. That means, when Angelina Jolie does a spread for Vanity Fair, she may very well have her "people" require that they look at and have veto power over any images put out there. You may have heard recently that there was a big stink regarding Beyonce' and demanding that she was unhappy with images released after the Super Bowl last year. Well in my family (or at least until I get in shape), we offer each other F.R. to avoid all conflicts. It's just good business!
Rule #3- NO PICTURES IN THIS ROOM EVER! NONE! DON'T!
Even pretending will get you a good scowl...and that's getting off easy...
#4- Never forget rule Number 2!
#5- Selfies while driving may be hazardous to your health.
Texting and selfie-ing are about the same as far as safety goes. Save your relationship by not dying.
#5- Filters are magical!
My wife loves black and white and (gulp) sepia. It's amazing how many pictures get through the refusal process when I use those filters. So find one they'll like, and stick with it!
I hope this has been helpful. I want your relationships to last, and I care about your photography. I want you to be able to share your pictures because we've paid enough for our phones to have these crazy good cameras. What I don't want is to see you out and about, alone, holding up your poor phone with the cracked front and back screens because you used poor judgement. Know when to say when. Don't drink and drive and remember the rules of Relationship Photography. #yourewelcome.
Let's face it: we want to make our significant other feel good, feel joyful, feel loved, feel attractive. Posting a bad picture can get you in trouble. Taking a picture that may be funny can be amusing. Posting it on social media: not funny (usually). I have learned that it's important to have a discerning eye when it comes to taking and posting pictures of your spouse (girlfriend, fiancee, etc...). My wife and I have learned life flows better when we show each other what we would like to post before posting. On Thanksgiving day, Jenny and I both took pictures: of each other and of us with the boys, etc. We both posted a picture on Facebook. Then we both adamantly requested the other remove the picture from Facebook. See...we avoided getting divorced just by honoring the others request to remove the picture. I admit it, I recently care about how I'm represented online. I'm not vain...I JUST LOOK HORRIBLE!!!
(deep slow breaths)
So, I thought that I might share some pointers on when NOT to take pictures and how to go about it if you avoid these rules. They say "rules are meant to be broken"... well, you also need to know the rules and sometimes know how to ask to break the rules from the proper authority. I'm just doing this for you. I care about you. I care about your relationship, so please, read the instruction manual!
Rule #1- No bedroom pictures.
Doesn't she look beautiful when she's sleeping? She seems so peaceful. Is she dreaming about us on the beach? Holding hands? Frolicking through the tall grass? Guess what buddy, she finds out you've posted a picture of her snoring away and you're just asking for a knuckle sandwich with your coffee! Trust me...she will not think it's cute.
Rule #2- Give the star First Refusal.
 |
| Image Approved! |
Being a start means your publicists will demand First Refusal before anything from a session is printed. That means, when Angelina Jolie does a spread for Vanity Fair, she may very well have her "people" require that they look at and have veto power over any images put out there. You may have heard recently that there was a big stink regarding Beyonce' and demanding that she was unhappy with images released after the Super Bowl last year. Well in my family (or at least until I get in shape), we offer each other F.R. to avoid all conflicts. It's just good business!
Rule #3- NO PICTURES IN THIS ROOM EVER! NONE! DON'T!
Even pretending will get you a good scowl...and that's getting off easy...
#4- Never forget rule Number 2!
#5- Selfies while driving may be hazardous to your health.
Texting and selfie-ing are about the same as far as safety goes. Save your relationship by not dying.
#5- Filters are magical!
My wife loves black and white and (gulp) sepia. It's amazing how many pictures get through the refusal process when I use those filters. So find one they'll like, and stick with it!
I hope this has been helpful. I want your relationships to last, and I care about your photography. I want you to be able to share your pictures because we've paid enough for our phones to have these crazy good cameras. What I don't want is to see you out and about, alone, holding up your poor phone with the cracked front and back screens because you used poor judgement. Know when to say when. Don't drink and drive and remember the rules of Relationship Photography. #yourewelcome.
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