If you can't say something nice...

   

copyright McKindles Photography 2007

     Today's post is brought to you by the letter N and the number 14!  N is for Nice, Neat, Neopolitan Ice Cream and Compliments.  Wait... "Compliments" doesn't start with the letter "n" you say?  Gosh... I didn't notice that (Notice also starts with "n").  Inspired by a comment someone made about a business associate and the events of my morning have lead me to this topic today about being NICE!
   
 ...And the number "14"?  Well... it just happens to be today's date.


     A few days ago, I opened up the Facebook and it seemed like everyone had someone to blame, complain about, point a finger at or just post some kind of crankiness.  I get it.  We all want to shout out to the world some days.  And no, this post is not going to be a long dialogue about Facebook etiquette or what it has evolved into.  As I said to my wife that day, I get that our voices have become small in today's political world and I understand the frustration and more so, the fact that FB and Twitter have become a place that we are able to at least get it off our chest and feel heard.  I don't think that social media should only be used for fun fer surz.  That is also not what this post is about.

     I remember an election or two ago where an entire room was built for a correspondent to track what was "trending" on Twitter as it was being introduced as a new tool for pundits and strategists.  Facebook was also being used to ask candidates questions in town hall debates.  Social media invited itself into the dance.  No longer was Facebook a place just for fun pictures and Farm Town.  Social media had come to the dance and wanted to tango.

     I'm in an awkward position because I don't love Facebook, but I scan it every day.   It drives me crazy and I wish I could cut ties, but I also use it for business reasons and every so often someone posts fun videos or daily inspirational (or funny) Ecard thingy's (that's technical jargon).  So Facebook will go down as one of the great Love/Hate relationships of the century (I'm a bigger fan of Twitter, btw).  And if it weren't for Facebook, my wife and I would have had to find each other by actually going to a high school reunion or something like that...so I can't be all hatin' on the Fb.  (I'm getting into snowboarding, so me now speak funny...)

     So upon seeing what was brewing bright and early on FB that morning, I posted something suggesting that people try and not post anything negative.  I did not invent that wheel, but I did think it was worth just putting out there.  I just thought it might help people start the day in a more positive way.  I try and start with a little bible then into social media.  It makes a difference.  And maybe it was just a shift in the day, but for sure, when I went back to FB later in the day, FB was fun, cheery, and refreshing.  I cannot take all the credit for this, I'm just pointing out that it was nice to see the change.

     All this is just backstory that I hope will inspire the reader of today's post.  I'm not trying to be Tony Robbins or Joel Osteen here, but just throwin' out a thought:  Can we try to be nice more often?  How will that change us?  We know that it can change others, but have you tried being nice to change you?

     I was at a Greater Brighton Area Chamber of Commerce event the other day, and the person I was talking to had paid a compliment to someone else we both new.  This person is in our business group and her job is all about marketing for LaFontaine Cadillac.  She is a great lady.  In our discussion, this person mentioned that she noticed this person never really comes out and "asks" for her referrals.  Instead, she usually takes this time during our meetings to mention ways she can help people or compliments others in the group.  What an amazing quality.  During a time she could stand up and say "a great referral for me is..." or "... what I'm looking for...", but she doesn't.  What an amazing perspective and savvy technique.  You see, she is pitching her personality, which in turn, makes who she works for look trustworthy and respectable and nice.  She is genuine, which makes her company also look genuine. This guy learned something...

     And then his morning, I was overwhelmed by a few "shout outs" others in the group directed towards me during our meeting.  It wasn't like I had just turned in some shots or video for their businesses  I didn't send them any referrals.  They just wanted to say "hey, I think this guy is really great".  I was very conscious of my previous conversation about Karla before our meeting, and chose to follow her path when it was my turn.  I wanted to be nice too!  You see, even in doing business, it still is okay to be nice.  I'm always inspired after meeting with this group because they are all so supportive of each other.  They are nice.  And all I want to do is find other people that need their services because I trust them.  They are beyond nice...

     There is another person I know that struggles with being nice.  I'm not gonna waste much time discussing this person and this is not about calling them out.  I just wondered "what if that person tried to be nice for a few days in a row?".   Would they notice a change in how others interacted?  Would they feel differently?  Would they become more successful?

     I know that it's worked for me.  I've been through times where I didn't feel like being nice and was very stuck wanting others to be nice to me even though I wasn't making an effort.  Not making an effort is just as good as not being nice.

     I know this sounds all fluffy-daily affirmation-y, but honestly... if you are not feeling particularly nice lately, you could try it.  Try real hard.  Try for a couple days in a row.  You'll have tough days or difficult people getting in the way.  I do.  But I'm gonna keep trying.  How 'bout you?